Lucille Désirée Ball was born on August 6, 1911 and died on April 26, 1989. Lucille was an American actress, comedienne, model and studio executive and producer. I remember watching reruns of I love Lucy and still when I catch an episode I’ll watch it.
I completely agree that when you’re busy and doing many things you don’t have as much time to feel bad and if you like what you’re doing and are happy that makes things easier too. I have had my share of struggles with my PTSD but I have done a lot of reading, I still do therapy, support groups and I’ve been writing everyday since mid February. Recently I also started a job but I’m not about to give up on my writing. This is my passion and I figure it is just a matter of time, practice and patience. I have all those skills and I have gone through enough and have a lot to share. Plus every single day I have a message about things you can do in your life to see things in a new light, in a different and more positive way.
This is one of those lessons in life that is hard to understand at first and we often go through different stages with our relationship with ourselves. I have felt the lowest of the lows before and not wanting to continue on in this world. I was being bullied and beaten, people were spreading lies about something that I went through to twist the truth and I felt there was no end. I didn’t trust anybody and no one knew what I was going through except me. When one keeps secrets about abuse, sexual abuse, domestic abuse, neglect those fester inside ourselves. It makes you feel hopeless, alone and unwanted because you’re a prisoner of your mind and what you’re going through that you don’t feel you can tell anybody about. You start doing things to numb the pain or control the pain that don’t make sense. I became a cutter, I would cut myself because it was me doing it and trying to take control of the life I felt I had no control of. Most abuse that happens stems from the other person wanting power and control and the victims of abuse often feel weak and lose all respect for themselves until they just want to end it all. I made feeble attempts to end my suffering and today I can say I am glad I wasn’t successful.
I used to have more regret in my life but I have found that the older and wiser I get the more I come to realize that I wouldn’t be the person I am today, seen the things I’ve seen or did the things I did if I didn’t take chances. I suppose that’s why my Grandma Pat says I’m brave and that was one of the things I learned and felt I had going for me was being brave, being outspoken, trying and learning many things. That is one of the life lessons that you learn as you get older is to let go of the regret and look at where you are, where you’ve been, what you’ve done and not wait. Just do these things. My Dad has called me impulsive at times or that I don’t always think things through. I do think a lot about many things before I decide to make my leap and I don’t regret them because it has inspired or contributed to my photography, my art and my writing. It is why I keep trying and keep pushing myself. No regrets.
I wanted to show this iconic scene that still makes me laugh today. Lucille Ball was definitely a pioneer for comedy for women.
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